El diario de Cesc // El diari de Cesc // Cesc’s Diary

fukbol:

HIJO DE MIL PUTAS.

Why is this my life jw jw

So Barça had their second game on Saturday and I was watching it as usual (in my basement with the lights off hoping to God no one would come in and discover me) and crying. Though this time it wasn’t because I wasn’t playing with them, but because

1. They were losing.  At Camp Nou.  On Catalunya’s national day. That shit ain’t right.

2. Piqué got a nasty wound and there was blood all over the damn place (he did get up again like it was nbd though)

Anyway, so I call him after the game, right? (Geri, obvi) and I freak out, because he’s my homes ok, and do you know what dis bitch says? He’s all “Yeah, Cesc, I’m alright, Bojan’s here with me.”

Bojan.

Bojan.

~~*~BOJAN~*~~

 

At first I was going to be all “HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE, HERMANO, THE FUCK IS LOLITA DOING THERE?” but, as a capitán and generally responsible and rational human being,  I didn’t. Instead I did the next logical thing to do. I hung the fuck up.

~Bojan~

I mean WHAT EVEN. Their so-called bromance makes zero sense.  Like, what would they even be called?  Pijan? The fuck is a Pijan? Or Bojaniqué?

Let me just repeat that.

~~Bojaniqué~~

~~Bojaniqué~~

That is a ghetto-ass name if ever I’ve heard one.

Shit, son, Fabriqué’s so epic it trumps fucking Sernando ok.

Anyway, my feelings are in the oven. Brb eating them.

…

After calming down, I decided I need to show Piqué what he’s been missing because he obvi doesn’t know what a good thing he has here (got hit on the head one time too many methinks). I decided to not even bother with feigning a bromance, but just go motherfucking hard.

Oh yeah, I went there.

PS: My feelings tasted like dark chocolate and Piqué’s tears after he sees this picture xoxo

Why is this the greatest thing I’ve ever read in my life?

(Source: )